Interview: Charlotte (Through Our Eyes/Photographer/NJ XXX)
This interview has been a long time coming and has been one of the ones I wanted to do since I started Shadowtalkers. You may know my guest for her quest to find her moms demo but she’s also a killer writer, photographer, and artist. None other than Charlotte of Through Our Eyes. So without any further ado let’s get into this interview
Shadowtalkers: Why are you into hardcore?
Charlotte: I’m gonna quote the back of this tee shirt I’m wearing right now. “Definitions miss the point. Hardcore will always be more than music”. Hardcore, and Straightedge subsequently, is it’s own self sufficient community outside of major record deal bullshit, Independent from corporate sound, and alienated from mall-advertisement delusion of what big business thinks kids ‘oughta be doing’ with their time. I got into hardcore because for once, the words meant something to me. I’ve listened to music my entire life, a lot of it good, some of it great, but absolutely none of it made me wanna get up and do something with my life more then Straightedge Hardcore did. I think that’s why hardcore still is a scene instead of nothing more than a genre of music, forty something years later. You can change the sound, or the kids in the scene, and all the other variable aesthetic trends you can think of. But the inherent value of Straightedge is in what it means to You. And that means fucking everything to me.
S: When did you find the edge?
C: A good two years ago by now. But when I really got into the scene, I threw myself into it. I come from a family that has its roots in substance abuse, and the idea that I could follow that path genuinely terrified me, but that isn’t why I stayed Straightedge. I’m still Straightedge because it centers me. As someone with narcolepsy—not like a fainting fucking goat, that’s a stereotype—it’s very easy to lose yourself in this constant cycle of exhaustion, fading in and out of your own life with your head often feeling like it’s stuffed full of cotton. It would be very, very easy to take a bunch of speed and not feel like this every day. I am Straightedge because it gives me the presence of mind and mental clarity to write and shoot and paint and believe with fucking all of me that you can do better in the world around you by just being present. It is so much more to me than preaching temperance like I’m some kind of spokesperson for the teen outreach section of D.A.R.E.
S: What inspired you to get into photography?
C: That I owe entirely to this book, “I’m not holding your coat” by Nancy Barile. I remember reading that book sitting on the floor of this library, and within the first few pages I felt like I got slapped in the face. It was out of nowhere, but all I could think was, This is what I NEED to do. I went out and shot my first show the next day, and I’ve been doing it since. I’m a film photographer for a bunch of reasons, but the biggest is that film is tangible. When I shoot film, i only have 36 shots before I gotta risk reloading in the middle of the pit, so every shot I have to make count. It keeps me in that moment. A lot of people who don’t have narcolepsy really take being able to actually focus for granted, but when I’m shooting, I actually feel like myself again. When you get THE shot, even though you can’t see it, you just know that you got that moment perfect. I wish I could put it into words. But I wouldn’t give up that moment for anything.
Photography is my way I participate in the scene, given that moshing with Narcolepsy isn’t the brightest idea. Especially since in my zine, Through Our Eyes zine, I shoot all the pictures in there!
S: What’s your favorite picture you took throughout your entire body of work?
C: That one’s difficult, because I’m a film photographer when I’m taking photos I obviously can’t see what I’m shooting, so when I think of my favorite photo I have to say it’s usually the ones that got me something after. The first ever photos I’ve ever been really really proud of was this band called Total Knock In playing at this like Irish club or something, but those were the first photos I ever tried on my new camera and it was like the first time my photography was something I was insanely proud of and that photo I took I actually ended up running into Flint of Life Force that day when I was going to scan in the photos cuz I was at a film lab. That one changed everything because when I met him there I gave him one of the photos that I took cuz he really liked it and that’s how I ended up getting invited to shoot this one show at Bonks and then from there that’s when everything started taking off and that’s when I started my first zine. So like sentimental wise it would be those and the photos from the Life Force/God Instinct show at Bonks, just cuz of everything that came after. But if we’re going through my whole composition that one photo, the cover photo I did for the I Promised The World post, I really really liked that one.
S: What’s your favorite show you’ve went to?
C: In hardcore I would say either the Youth Of Today show in Philly at the Lithuanian Music Hall, or the Mouthpiece show. It’s a 3 way tie, those 2 or outside of hardcore and more into softer shit the I Promised The World gig at the FU Church. Which is the first show I ever took my sister to.
S: Who are some underrated bands from south NJ/Philly to keep an eye on?
C: Bro we don’t got shit hahaha! The ones off the top of my head: God Instinct, check out God Instinct, they’re some of the most amazing talented people I’ve ever met in my life, shoutout to Life Of Deceit and their other band Verse Vs The Virus. I wish Philly had more youth crew straight edge shit, but if we’re gonna go outside of Philly obviously shoutout to Joystick Fury, Petals Of Carrion, they’re great. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head but every single one of them I think should be kept an eye on.
S: When did the idea of starting Through Our Eyes come to you?
C: So, really funny story. I never actually set out, to y’know wake up one day and was like “I’m gonna make a zine and it’s a hardcore zine and blah blah blah”. It was something I did in my late sophomore year because I was so bored in my study halls and ever since I saw the movie Pump Up The Volume when I was like 12 (which is a great 90’s movie, terrible, but really really great) about underground radio shit I’ve always had that idea in the back of my head. But it was only then that on my school chromebook I would go in on not even Adobe Photoshop, but Adobe Express which is like Google Slides but Adobe, and I would do it on there between classes and when it was done my friends. Especially Mateo from Boston, I was showing him, and kinda in the middle of me making it I was just like “fuck I might as well just publish it to see what people think”. I just did it in between classes, y’know? I was just bored and then it just spiraled to where it is now and I’m so happy that people even give a fuck about what I have to say Y’know? I can’t believe people are spending their money to hear what a 16 y/o girl thinks about hardcore. That’s hilarious to me.
S: What is your favorite interview you’ve done so far?
C: The one I think about the most is the interview with Flint Beard of Life Force. That interview I quote almost every time someone asks me what straight edge means to me. His quote about radical sobriety and using a clear mind to do better in the world around you, do better for people around you, and be better for yourself. I think I quote that in every single interview anyones ever interviewed me for. Every news article I said that, even if they don’t quote it I’ve said that quote to them word for word. Everything he said meant so much to how I viewed straight edge and how I got into the more political aspect of sobriety/straight edge as a whole.
S: What advice would you give to people looking to start their own zine?
C: Oh Jesus. I wish I had a clear cut answer, but I’m the worst person to ask. I started to do it on my school Chromebook, but I would say to anyone starting a zine is you’re going to be you’re going to be told your entire life that you have to wait to do things and do all these fucking steps like college, school, blah blah blah, whatever. But the funny part is you can just do it, you’re gonna be told like how I was told “oh when you get older, when you get older”. I just got tired of waiting. Like DIY in it of itself and hardcore in general was started by a bunch of fucking kids who heard punk and made it louder and faster on whatever material they had and made it work. There’s no steps, I wish there was a clear cut guide, but just get an idea and run with it, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something when you fuckin can. Get interviews, take pictures, don’t steal anyone’s work, have your own voice in something, and don’t be afraid to use it, don’t mince words. It doesn’t matter if anyone reads it or not, the whole point of it is to have your own thoughts on something. Do that and start from there… OH AND DONT LET IT BE UGLY, do not let your zine be ugly. Oh my god there’s so many zines which are just walls and walls of text and no pictures. Don’t do that.
S: You’ve said before that you want to bring back a youth crew mentality in the hardcore scene. What do you mean by that for those who haven’t read Through Our Eyes?
C: I really cannot stand that whole self righteous ‘not drinking makes me better than you’ bullshit. Just being sober doesn’t get you a gold star. What’s the point of having a clear mind if you won’t even use it for something good? Sobriety is just the first step! When I say I wanna bring back that Youth crew kind of vibe, I mean I wanna see a more positive mentality regarding Straightedge. Write songs that mean something! Make a zine! Read more, educate yourself on the world around you, and work to change it! Who cares if it doesn’t end up like changing the world or whatever. The effort is what makes you better.
S: What are your Mount Rushmore youth crew releases?
C: I got a playlist for this. I would say (in no order at all) Snapcase - Progression Through Unlearning, and that’s not youth crew just straight edge in general cuz I don’t JUST listen to youth crew honestly. I’m a poser, sorry guys. Mouthpiece - Can’t Kill What’s Inside, the complete discography of Mouthpiece. That’s #2, the whole discography is amazing. Then Youth Of Today - Break Down The Walls, even though I don’t listen to the album as much as I used to I know every word. Inside Out - No Spiritual Surrender, not youth crew but still great. Maybe Uniform Choice - Screaming For Change.
S: How can the average person with a baseline interest in punk or hardcore make a difference in their local scene?
C: Honestly, there isn’t just one way of doing it. Be curious and be willing to learn about what’s going on around you. Get into the music and the history and talk to the kids in your scene. The first way of getting involved is to literally just jump in and get involved! Kids are told their entire lives that you have to wait to grow up and go to school to do whatever the hell they wanna do, and Hardcore single-handedly proved that wrong. You got kids in high school going on coast-to-coast tours playing gigs, kids running their own zines, kids working with hardcore labels and making art for flyers and album art. Don’t think you need to have all the right materials and all of this research when the only way to truly learn is to jump headfirst into it and figure it out from there. Show up for your scene, get involved, whether that be through writing, playing, or moshing, and GO STRAIGHTEDGE. Or not. I’m totally biased.
S: Any photographers who you want to shout out?
C: Yes absolutely, Shelby Ringer, she’s the coolest, when my camera got broken she actually got me a new one cuz she knew I couldn’t go back to photography after that was broken. It means every day, every time I shoot, I think of her, she’s a fucking angel. Shoutout Shelby Ringer, she’s so talented, especially as a film photographer she’s amazing. I wanna give a shout out to Dazey Doom, her work, INSANE, every photography she’s ever shot. I think she’s one of my all time favorite digital photographers ever, hands down. The way she edits her shit, amazing. Then I wanna give a shoutout to Caitlyn in Delaware, just so so kind. Those are some of the people I love the most. This one I’m not friends with personally but my biggest inspiration in what I want my photography to look like is the old photography of Adam Tanner back in the 90’s and 00’s. Him. He is amazing. To go farther back than that I never met this guy and he’s passed on by now but Murray Bowles. Oh my god, his early scene photography has changed everything for me. I remember looking at his photography book and being blown away, like this is what hardcore photography should be. He’s amazing. So those are my inspirations and friends I wanna give a shoutout to.
S: What are your plans for 2026?
C: So the reason there been such a huge hiatus on my zine is cuz not only am I working on AP schoolwork, I’ve just been swamped with the interview shit so 2026, I guarantee it 5 new zines are gonna come out this year at the very least. I’m almost halfway through the next zine which is gonna be Life Of Deceit, Human Blister, Destroy Babylon, Holder, and Masshole. I’m really excited for that one. The one after that is gonna be youth crew addition AND there might totally definitely be merch dropping. So get excited for that, it’s a drawing and design I did and I’m very very proud of and the one after that I think everyone’s really really gonna like too. Besides that, keep doing what I’m doing. Show photography, artwork shit, and compiling the straight edge documentary.
S: Anything else you’d like to add?
C: Go straight edge and stay straight edge. Think of it as a mindset and mentality besides something to be a self righteous dick over. With the clarity of mind that you have do something better with it. Do better in the world around you, be aware of what you’re doing, use your own thoughts and your own talents to give back to this scene and don’t use it to put other people down when it has so much potential. Like it has when it saved my life honest to god and saved so many other peoples lives and how they think and how they act. Think of it as an ideology and beliefs instead of something to hold over people. I wish I could put it more poetically but that really is it. Do better with the world around you straight edge or not. Hardcore has so much potential to change so many things and I feel like recently I have not been seeing enough of that whole posi mentality and I really really wish there was more of that. Oh and start a zine and don’t be a dick at shows if you’re gonna be a photographer.
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